Making Conflict Transformational: Overview
If you’re like me, you don’t naturally gravitate toward conflict. In fact, my inclination is to head for the hills when I see conflict brewing.
Yet, I’m learning that conflict represents an opportunity – an opportunity for transformation and growth. The crucible of conflict often refines ideas and character, and deepens relationships. Of course, conflict can also undermine, paralyze, and even destroy. So, what can we do to increase the chances that the conflicts we face become transformational? In this blog, I’ll present an overview of six steps for making conflict transformational, which I will then explore in greater depth in subsequent blogs.
Recognize that Conflict is Necessary
Just like our muscles need tension and resistance to stay healthy and become stronger, so we, as humans, need the kind of tension that conflict provides to grow and develop. Of course, conflict is not the only source of this kind of tension, but it does have a way of grabbing our attention.
Identify the Type of Conflict and the Factors that Influence the Intensity of the Conflict
What’s at stake here? Is this a, “What kind of pizza should we order?” kind of conflict or is it something more substantive? If it’s something serious, then what are the underlying causes of the conflict? So often we try to deal with the surface tension and fail to address the deeper clashes around values, beliefs, and assumptions. As we peel away the layers, it’s important to recognize and manage the factors that can escalate or deescalate the tension.