listen

Disciples of Jesus want to help others become disciples of Jesus. But this is sometimes easier said than done. How can you help people take their next faith step without being too prescriptive? What's the balance between sharing your own thoughts and allowing God's Spirit to move an individual into action?

I've found four skills to be especially valuable in helping people take next steps based on the Leader Breakthru Coaching approach.

Skill #1 - Listening

We all know that listening is important. Yet, most leaders are not listeners. We typically pre-conclude and make recommendations because we think it's more efficient. Leaders like to fix people and things quickly.

Active listening is holding off judgment and really trying to hear what the other person is actually saying and even thinking. To do this, we need to practice the 80/20 rule – listen 80% of the time and only talk 20%.

Here are five tips to help you listen better:

• Listen with your mind – pay attention to what the other person is saying. Don't let your mind drift to other matters, even though they may be pressing.
• Listen with your body – body language often communicates more than our words. Active listening means that we are facing the person and maintaining appropriate eye contact (and not looking at our phone).
• Listen with your words – it's important to summarize what you think the other person is saying, so that you know you're hearing correctly (and so the other person knows you are listening and care about the conversation).
• Listen with your intuition – as you are listening, you will sometimes begin to "hear" things beneath the surface. Your intuition will notice subtle cues that will help you say things that nudge the conversation in productive directions.
• Listen with the Spirit – if you're a follower of Jesus, you can be confident that the Holy Spirit is guiding you. Ask Him to give you insight into the conversation and then to guide your responses.  

Skill #2 - Expanding

Expanding is all about asking good questions that help the other person think in different ways. As Terry Walling, Executive Director of Leader Breakthru, has said, "Discovery is about ownership. That which an individual discovers, they have a greater propensity to implement." 

From Genesis to Revelation, God our Creator is revealed as One who is interested in relationship with people. One early example of this is the relationship between Moses and Yahweh. We read in Exodus that God and Moses spoke as friends—face to face. Some call it intimacy with God, friendship, or communion. Part of this intimate relationship between God and people is the experience of hearing God's voice. The Bible is filled with examples of how people hear God. Variety as to how they hear abounds. Some have dreams; others have visions; some hear God at work in the circumstances of their lives; some are prompted by the Spirit in their hearts; others experience God in and through creation in alignment with what the Scriptures say in Psalm 19—the heavens declare the glory of God.

When my wife Evy and I wrote Your Ears Will Hear we were increasingly aware of how people around the world were hearing God in similar ways. The same common ways that are found in Scripture continue to be ways people are hearing God today. We identified five common ways, but there might be a hundred and five. We’re not trying to be exhaustive, but we are finding it helpful to bring these five to people's attention as they journey with God: 

1. Listening to God through Scripture
2. Listening to God at work around us in the circumstances of our lives
3. Listening to God through our hearts
4. Listening to God in silence and solitude (like Jesus did) out in nature
5. Listening to God in community (God speaks to people through people)

The Scriptures describe—in one story after another—how people are guided by God. Whether it is "the counsel of the Lord" or "the word of the Lord" or "a gentle whisper" or "a voice" or other ways, God is communicating and He's given people "ears to hear". Promises abound throughout Scripture encouraging all believers of all ages to believe their ears will hear the voice of the Good Shepherd.

How does God speak to you? Are there common ways you have experienced God speaking to you over time? I’d love to hear from you (click here to contact me). 

Confession time: I don’t always enjoy reading Scripture. Sometimes, it’s routine, even boring. Yet, I’ve also experienced incredible “Aha!” moments as God has spoken wisdom into my life. God’s Word has often encouraged me to carry on, even in the face of a big challenge. 

I’ve discovered that the times Scripture impacts me the most is when I actually engage with what God is saying―to meditate on His words. 

I’d like to offer seven ways for engaging Scripture that I have found life-changing.

Pray Through Scripture

I am currently using a Bible reading app on my phone to read through the Bible in 18 months. I like this approach, but sometimes find that I’m just reading to get it done. What has helped is to purposefully pray through the passages as I read them. For example, when reading Psalm 46, I can praise God that He is my refuge and strength. I may find myself confessing those times when I have tried to find safety outside of God. Depending on what I’m going through, I may respond to this passage by committing challenges to the Lord that need His strong helping hand. Praying through Scripture is a way to engage in a conversation with God about what He is showing me. It makes Scripture real and personal.

Journal in Response to Scripture

Journaling is another great way of engaging with Scripture. When I went through the two-year Navigator 2:7 Bible Study Series, we had to journal about our Bible reading each day. The approach was simple. We recorded a key idea and then applied it to our lives. Many have found that life journaling is a great way of getting into the heart of Scripture. One of the great benefits of journaling is that you can trace themes that God might be emphasizing in your life.

Memorize Scripture